A blog by a New York waiter, expressing the inside workings of the New York restaurant ‘The Bistro’, became so popular that it was published as a book by the same name, “Waiter Rant”, by an anonymous waiter.

 

The subtitle “Behind the scenes of eating out” says it all. In reading the book, one would consider twice whether one should ever set foot in a restaurant again.   The waiter-writer is a cynical outspoken critic of American society (“20 percent of the American dining public are socially maladjusted psychopaths.  We should start putting Prozac in the Perrier”, he says), “tyrannical owners”, and “drugged-up servers”, as observed by the waiter and chronicled in his blog.  It is also a sad reflection of the quality and attitude of waiters.  

 

Spitting in the soup to be sent to the table of a poor tipper or a rude customer has been talked about, but is true, as far as the book is concerned.   Other restaurant insights are the following:

 

• The kitchen and serving staff are almost always fighting with each other, due mainly to the better income and greater status of the waiters – this means that the waiter will try to prevent being on the wrong end of the chef by trying to prevent returning a customer’s plate of food.
• The owner of the restaurant is almost always not at his restaurant 
• Some Managers of restaurants take bribes from waiters to be assigned better shifts or tables, to swop shifts, or to take leave
• The staff toilets usually are worse than the customer ones, which is why the staff use the latter! 
• A restricted menu on Christmas, New Year’s, Mothers’ or Valentine’s Day is probably the one that is the most profitable for the restaurant, and portion sizes shrink on these special days, to improve the profitability even further
• Waiters smoke marijuana, or drink spirits after their shifts, to unwind
• Restaurant patrons use the bathrooms in pairs for the obvious, or to snort cocaine
• Waiters will do anything to get a higher tip – in New York waiters are reliant on tips for their compensation (unlike South Africa, where waiters have to be paid a salary), and they are chronically short of money – the writer equates waitering and hoping for tips with playing one-arm bandits
• The best tables are allocated to big tippers, especially on special days
• Waiters usually boost their work performance with a couple of cups of coffee and Red Bull
• The restaurant Point of Sale system can be programmed to record all the guest information, e.g. good/bad tipper, credit card details, classifications of customers on their degree of “difficulty”, a recording of food returned to the kitchen, and of No Shows.  This history on the system can determine whether one can get a table on heavily booked days  – “..if you never get the table you want at your favourite restaurant, or if reservations on a special day are always hard to come by, someone at the restaurant does not like you”.   “So don’t be surprised that chronically bad customers end up getting bad service”.
• Waiters will change prices on the bill if they feel sorry for patrons not being able to afford their meal, at the owner’s expense, putting the names of less expensive dishes on the bill.
• Security cameras are more likely to be used by the owner to check up on his staff than on the security!
• Profuse verbal praise of a waiter probably comes at the expense of a tip
• “If tips were based solely on quality of service, then waiters would’ve gone extinct a long time ago”
• Waiters are unlikely to tell a patron that a tip has been added already (for larger tables) and are happy to therefore accept a double tip!
• “Fresh fish” usually isn’t fresh – it has to be frozen to keep for a few days
• “If the restaurant’s bathroom is nasty, the odds are good that the kitchen doesn’t bother maintaining Health Department-mandated levels of hygiene either.”  Further tell-tale signs of a lack of hygiene are a lack of hot water, no hand soap in the dispensers, cheap toilet paper, no paper towels, overflowing rubbish bins, no toilet paper dispenser, a loose toilet seat, and graffiti in the bathroom.
• Kitchen staff generally do not have health insurance, and therefore work, even if  they are sick.   
• Kitchens are infested with mice, rats and cockroaches!

 

A number of managers of local restaurants were asked to comment on the American restaurant scene:

 

1.       Tension between the kitchen and serving staff does exist, but usually it is caused because the waiters send plates back to the kitchen if they are not correct, to prevent receiving negative feedback from patrons.  Teamwork between the two parties is important, and can be achieved when the tips are shared with the kitchen staff.

2.       The special days’ menus are highly profitable, but are also kept restricted to cope with the busy restaurant on such days

3.       Restaurant staff tend to unwind with alcohol rather than with drugs locally

4.       Regular patrons, rather than big tippers, are allocated the best tables locally

5.       Not only Red Bull but also cheaper alternatives such as Energade and other sport drinks are used

6.       The POS systems locally will not allow dish prices to be changed.  However, this can happen on some systems, and usually benefits the waiter, in him/her receiving a better tip.  The systems are not as sophisticated as those in the USA in regard to guest information, and at the end of the day, the restaurants will not turn business away.

7.       The “double tip” does happen, but a good Manager will pick it up.  Most South African customers are also sharp in picking this up.

8.       Sick staff are sent to the doctor, or home when they are ill, at top restaurants.

9.       Restaurants contract pest control companies to keep their kitchens clean.

10.  Restaurant owners tend to be in their restaurants and hands-on

11.  Staff toilets are usually in a bad condition, and owners should invest in upgrading them.   Most health inspectors locally do not check the toilets, if they check restaurants at all.

12.  South African waiters are not as hard-sell as their American counterparts, as they receive a fixed income, and see tips as a bonus.

 

One critical Manager rejected the content of the book outright, and wrote:   “I have always enjoyed waitressing and see my line of work as a lifestyle, not a job. This waiter (waiterrant) is too cynical and should get out of the industry. We are here to please and take it as a compliment when the same guests return for another meal’

 

The book offers advice on how to be a good customer:

 

            1.  show up for your booking – 20 % of a restaurant’s weekend

                 reservations are a no-show 

     2.  call if you are going to be late, or else your table will be given

          away

            3   accept the table offered

            4   leave the children at home

            5   be polite

            6   do not use a cellphone in a restaurant (as it holds

                 up the communication with the waiter!)

            7   Let the waiter go through the specials only once per table

            8   Don’t ask the owner for donations to one’s favourite charity

            9   Do not hold up the waiter with talking – he/she has other tables to

                 attend to

            10  Pay the bill within 5 minutes of receiving it

                    11  Do not split bills

                    12  “If you can’t afford to leave a tip, you can’t afford to eat in the  

                          restaurant.  Stay home”!

 

The Waiter Rant website is www.waiterrant.blogspot.com

 

Whale Cottage Portfolio www.whalecottage.com